4 am in Tokyo ten years anniversary berlin rant

Ten years is the longest I’ve lived anywhere and I’m not even there.
10 years today berlin! God berlin. Sitting in the front window of le space with Brandon and Krylon and Mella and Chloe getting naked at the table cause we felt like it. That was it, that first night out. Never moving back.
The weekend my mom moved out
Katie why don’t you have rage
I have rage reserved for those closest to me (this sounds like domestic rage and domestic abuse
Not better than general rage, worse)

Ten years they don’t give me residency cause I don’t earn enough still! Don’t earn enough!
Capitalist freedom
Yea if you earn enough you can pay for a coffee to sit on that sidewalk you can pay for a toilet you can pay for a place to sleep you can have enough money in your account to travel … that we know you’re not gonna stay in our country and you got a ticket to fly back.
Just never paid taxes never no country cause I Never earned enough. Still don’t and they still won’t let me …
never lived in one place this long never
Never wanted enough to pay the state
That’s choice my tax dollars not going to fund a war
But it won’t fund the State can’t get residency
Choice like kick starter choice as though we can choose how our money us spent. As though we had choice! and then the false idea taking away from the fact that we don’t spend enough supporting the arts and want everyone to Be an entrepreneur
Song kick and reverb nation always writing me about being a better entrepreneur
How to sell it better
I don’t want to be a better business woman! I want to be a better artist, a better activist, a better advocate.

We have to learn how to be better business people presumably we are encouraging others the illusion of choice about how we spend our money but think of how government spends our money without our consent think of how corporations spend our money without our consent

Thank goddesses and queers for free spaces like in Hong Kong pay what you feel
Rage I mean rage that I encountered that last weekend before she got out but of what?

I was proud of her in a feminist way
But god proud of her but not her rage and then on the train I have a sudden burst of my own rage the exportation of the iconography of rape the subtle frames of references the books the movies the shows by the white males who we watch and export never inspiring *us* much we believe that they are enlightened feminist somehow but they don’t fucking care to read women authors. I moved out here to leave you and here I am just on the road just on the road and still poor still thinking about rape, still thinking and inspired to speak about rape

God ten years of losses! My father my aunt my best friends mother my colleagues my friends so many gay young men All different reasons suicides drugs illness car accidents sudden terrible losses

Fuck ten years of missing and how many more years of missing?

Capitalism doesn’t work people are faltering at it starving at it , if the body is sick the body is not functioning not like this
Ten years and reunification and I still don’t have residency here to keep me powerless from having rights and ability to exercise freedoms and I AM amongst this class one of the most privileged; not taking about refugees who are denied a right to work forced to work black and arrested kept in detention centers outside the city centers targeted for riding “black” for selling black for being black.

Check mark box staying for a while check mark the box sex worker, poor let me emigrate let me let me sit in this park for free, let me walk up this path without buying a coffee, let me cross across the bizarre conflation of freedom with consumerism

ten years berlin oh berlin all the cities are becoming the same are you becoming the same where will we go oh berlin are all the cities in the world becoming the sane same whitewashed resort twins berlin are you ?

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